Wednesday, 24 Oct 2018

Appearance as a Key to Success. Tips for Men

Appearance as a Key to Success

Appearance is very often overlooked by guys who are wanting to get out there and meet more women. So many gurus and books say that looks don’t matter because that’s easy to sell. It’s much easier to convince the average looking dude who is overweight and dresses like shit that he can sleep with beautiful women by just approaching, than it is to convince him that he has to work on himself. Yes, there are some instances where looks don’t matter – everyone can think of at least one rough looking fella who is dating a stunner – but that’s the exception rather than the rule. The reason that you notice it, is because it is unusual. Appearance as a key to success.

Is Your Appearance Working For You Or Against You?

When you approach a woman, she’ll determine if she’s attracted to you or not for the most part in seconds. And your appearance will be the greatest factor in that. How you look says a lot about you – on both a genetic level and a personality level. It says more about you, generally, than what you’re actually saying, and often guys focus so much on approaching that they neglect this key area, then wonder why they aren’t getting any results. I’ve seen this many times – a guy out there approaching, approaching, approaching and wondering why he never gets anywhere, all the while looking like shit. He’s either unaware of it, or convinced that “looks don’t matter”.

He’s right in a way – good game does beat good looks. But note that I said good game. When you’re new and learning, and you haven’t had much success, then your looks and your appearance certainly do count for a lot more. As you improve, looks matter less because you’ve developed confidence, charm, good beliefs and a good personality – which will all shine through. But a significant part of a woman’s attraction to you, especially when you’re starting out, will be how attractive she finds you physically. You can deny this all you like, or you can work to improve how you look.

Probably the quickest way to get more attention for women, and from more attractive women, is to simply look better. You don’t have to be a model – in fact, I’ve coached male models who sucked with women because they just relied on their looks – but you should at least look decent when you’re out meeting women. Do the most with what you’ve got. Every guy can get up to decent. Also, the benefits of improving how you look will go beyond just meeting women.

People in general will perceive you differently when you look your best, when you’re healthy, when you dress well, when you smell good, etc. So let’s go through some specifics. Appearance as a key to success.

Body

Appearance as a Key to Success. Tips for Men - photo 1
Appearance as a Key to Success

Appearance as a key to success

Every man can benefit from exercise. The gym is great for some guys – it will generally tone you up faster than other forms of exercise, as well as improving your mood, your mind, your hormones, your bone density, how clothes fit, etc. – however, other guys simply won’t enjoy it. So do whatever works for you. I personally enjoy the gym occasionally (I’m not a gym junkie), I do sprints most mornings because I find them incredibly helpful for my mood and motivation, and I do Bikram/hot yoga a couple of times a week. I personally don’t enjoy sports. If you’re overweight, this is a going to be a great time to commit to improving your health. The reality is that most women find overweight men as attractive as most men find overweight women. So work on that. And if you’re thin and weight isn’t an issue you, regular exercise will still be great for your mood, mind and general health, which all play a part in attraction and success in dating. I’ve met many men struggling with confidence and in dating because they were in a bad way mentally. Sometimes they’re on anti-depressants, despite doing no exercise, which has been shown time and time again to be incredibly beneficial for depression. Ultimately, the more attractive that you are, the more attractive women will find you. And the healthier that you are, the more motivated and positive you will be. Appearance as a key to success.

Skin

Appearance as a Key to Success. Tips for Men - photo 2
Appearance as a Key to Success

Appearance as a key to success

Don’t overlook things like skin condition, teeth condition, hair condition, etc. because they tell people a lot about you on a subconscious level. These are health indicators, which we just interpret on a conscious level as ‘attractive’ or ‘not’. I recommend using a high-quality soap/body wash/face wash, which you can pick up in a supermarket for $10. You could also be using a moisturiser for better skin condition, perhaps even also a sunscreen if ageing is a concern. If you have acne, head to your doctor to get it looked after. I’m surprised by how many guys just accept their acne when a trip to the doctor/dermatologist and some medication (sometimes even just a diet change or exercise), can sort that out. I’m also surprised by how many guys I see out approaching women when their face is dry and flaky, or bald men with a dry and flaky scalp. I see this all the time, and it’s not very appealing and absolutely unnecessary when a $10 moisturiser will fix it. Appearance as a key to success.

Teeth

Appearance as a Key to Success. Tips for Men - photo 3
Appearance as a Key to Success

Appearance as a key to success

If you have crooked teeth, broken teeth, brown teeth – this will be one of the first things that people notice about you. No money will be better spent than going to the dentist to have your teeth fixed/improved. This doesn’t mean that you need to have some perfect Hollywood smile, nor does it mean that you have to spend thousands of dollars – just do the best with what you have. You’d be very surprised at the cheap and effective solutions available these days. To brighten up your teeth, you can have some professional whitening done. It takes an hour, and is a few hundred dollars but absolutely worth it. Alternatively, you could even look into some home whitening solutions. Obviously, you should also be brushing, flossing and using mouthwash, as well as carrying mints on you. Regardless of how good your game is, if your breath stinks, you’re going nowhere. Appearance as a key to success.

Hair

Appearance as a Key to Success. Tips for Men - photo 4
Appearance as a Key to Success

Appearance as a key to success

If you’ve got it, sort it out. Don’t settle for some crappy $10 haircut. Get to a stylist and have it styled. You pay $50 for a decent shirt that you wear only occasionally, so consider your hair like a shirt that you wear every day. It’s worth the money to have it looking its best. If you’re balding, don’t try to rock the puffy-sides koala haircut – shave it and own it. I do much better with women now as a bald man than I did when I had a head full of blonde hair.I’m not saying that’s why, I’m just saying that with a good personality and good game, balding won’t affect you that much. Appearance as a key to success.

Dress

Appearance as a Key to Success. Tips for Men - photo 5
Appearance as a Key to Success

Appearance as a key to success

How you dress says so much about you. If you feel that you need to improve how you dress, you could look up a stylist, or Google some fashion ideas, or you could simply go to a few stores and ask for their help. Just make sure that you go to reasonably fashionable stores, and bear in mind that store workers generally get a commission of their sales (i.e. they may try to sell you everything). Find some sales if you’re on a budget, there are always some on somewhere. I just meet a lot of men who are out trying to meet women in washed-out ten year old clothes. You absolutely don’t need to be a fashion connoisseur – I’m certainly not – and you don’t always need to be decked out in your best clothes (personally, I really enjoy my days off in tracksuits). But if you’re out meeting women, you do need to look pretty good. This isn’t an area in which you should think “Oh yeah, I’m sure I’m fine” if you’re not sure. This is probably the quickest way to get better responses from your approaches when you’re starting out. You don’t have to be some wanky fashion guy, you don’t need to know everything, and you don’t need spend thousands of dollars. Again, you can find sales in most places, and you can get free assistance from people in the stores (or a well-priced fashion consultant if you like). I’ve had day coaching sessions where I’ve made clients buy new clients halfway through the session (because they rocked up dressed badly), and seen the huge difference in responses from women, from the first half of the session to the second. I find that some of my clients really struggle with identity attachment here. We’ll go out and buy new clothes for them, but they’ll continue to wear their old ones clothes because they’re worried what people will think of them. You need to let that go. Again, your opinion on yourself should be more important to you than their opinion of you. How you dress reflects how you feel about yourself. It also tells women how much you take care of yourself. If you can’t even look after yourself and dress half decently when you’re going out, then will she think that you
can look after her or a family? Appearance as a key to success.

Smell

Appearance as a Key to Success. Tips for Men - photo 6
Appearance as a Key to Success

Appearance as a key to success

I really need to stress here that there’s a big difference between deodorant and antiperspirant. Don’t just use spray deodorant because they aren’t designed to stop your body odour, they only mask it (and most mask it poorly). I recommend an antiperspirant, especially a roll-on, and especially if you do tend to sweat a lot or have strong body odour. Again, if you smell bad, it’s game over. On top of this, I would suggest getting yourself some cologne, eau de toilette, parfum, etc. Once again, you don’t have to spend big. You can get a decent one for $50 that will last you months. And it’s these little understated things that women find really attractive. If money is tight, you can go into a store, try a few, and then jump online to buy it cheaper. Appearance as a key to success.

«Approach: The Ultimate Guide To Meeting Women & Developing Confidence In Dating»

Chris Manak

 

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