Wednesday, 12 Dec 2018

How to Boost Your Dating Confidence. Tips for Men

How to Boost Your Dating Confidence

Having the right mindset is absolutely critical if you want to improve your ability with women and in dating. This all starts in your head. Are you strong mentally or are you weak? Do you believe that life works for you or against you? Do you have the willpower and persistence to get through the inevitable tough times? Can you be self-assured enough to withstand rejection and to try again? Are you mostly positive or mostly negative? Basically, do you have the mental fortitude to make this happen? Because the truth is that most guys will give up. Most guys will test these waters, but they won’t last very long. They’ll quit because it gets boring, or because it stirs up emotions that they don’t want to deal with, or because they can’t deal with rejection, or because they think that it’s weird, or their friends think it’s weird, or because they’re lazy, or negative, or because they don’t really want to change – the list goes on. Like I said, this is just not for some guys, which is totally fine. But some guys will really want this, but will quit long before they see the results that persistence can bring. So you need to ask yourself if you’ll be one of them.

Positivity – if you want to boost your dating confidence

How to Boost Your Dating Confidence. Tips for Men - photo 1
How to Boost Your Dating Confidence

How to Boost Your Dating Confidence

You need to be overall positive. I certainly don’t mean that you need to be some deluded, airyfairy, positive thinker – I just mean that no-one likes a persistently negative, whiny bitchy guy, especially not attractive women or successful men. People don’t want to be around someone that’s complaining endlessly about how hard things are, or that life isn’t fair, or how they’re not happy with how things have worked out for them, etc. But more importantly, you need to be positive for you. I truly do believe that your life is a reflection of your thinking. A negative outlook on life will attract negative situations and negative people. I see it all the time – a guy out there approaching and meeting women, and doing everything correctly, but it still not working for him because of his negativity. Unless you can find the potential good and opportunities in your bad experiences, you’re doomed to fail. This can be hard to do when you’re going through some shit, but successful people always see the opportunity in situations. You need to be able to lift yourself up from the tough times and focus on the good instead of the bad. Yes, absolutely accept the bad, even wallow around in it for a while – anyone that knows me, knows that I certainly do. I’m not telling you to detach from your negative emotions, that’s unhealthy and unrealistic – but just don’t stay there. Be generally positive. Have a good outlook on life, you’re probably way luckier that you think. If you aren’t positive, then you need to start conditioning yourself to be. There’s definitely power in negativity, if you use it to leverage yourself to something better. So  again, don’t shy away from bad situations, just try to face them with a good outlook. Keep moving forward in good faith that you are getting somewhere, and that things are working out for you.

Persistence – if you want to boost your dating confidence

How to Boost Your Dating Confidence. Tips for Men - photo 2
How to Boost Your Dating Confidence

How to Boost Your Dating Confidence

Anything worthwhile is hard and takes time. Most men won’t have freedom in dating, or the confidence and success with women that they’d like, simply because they won’t persist in learning the skills required. Persistence is key. Persistence is the one trait that will determine above all others your success. You’ll have plateaus where it feels like you just aren’t getting any better, and you’ll even sometimes feel that you’re getting worse. This is a dangerous time when most guys quit. They give up because they don’t understand how growth works. Those plateaus and dips are necessary. Success is not a linear rise up, it’s all over the place. You go up, then down, then plateau, then up again, then down again. One week you’re great, the next you suck. But you’re actually learning the most during those dips and plateaus. They usually come right before your next rise. But many don’t make it out of the dips and plateaus.

Patience – if you want to boost your dating confidence

How to Boost Your Dating Confidence. Tips for Men - photo 3
How to Boost Your Dating Confidence

How to Boost Your Dating Confidence

Success in this will not happen overnight. Just because you bought this book, doesn’t mean that you’ll meet your dream woman tomorrow, or that you’ll be confident approaching women next weekend. The first time that you go out to do this, you’ll likely walk around doing nothing. It will take time. One of the worst things that you can do is desperately try to rush the process. Let the process unfold. It’ll take time, but that’s a good thing. Think of all the people who win the lottery overnight and lost it all in a year because they didn’t build a financial foundation first. You get things when you’re ready for them, not when you want them. So accept this in advance. Be patient. You have your whole life.

The World Owes You Nothing – if you want to boost your dating confidence

How to Boost Your Dating Confidence. Tips for Men - photo 4
How to Boost Your Dating Confidence

How to Boost Your Dating Confidence

Life is not fair, but that’s a good thing for you. It means that you can rise to be more than average, achieve more than average, have more than average. If life was fair, it’d mean that you were just like everyone else, had the same as everyone else, accomplished the same as everyone else, felt the same as everyone else, etc. Fuck that. There’d be no opportunity to work hard and shine. Life owes you nothing, women owe you nothing, no-one owes you anything. Everything is on YOU. Everything that you have and everything that you are, for the most-part, is because of your beliefs, decisions and actions. Don’t whine that life isn’t fair, or that you were treated badly, or that some girl was mean to you, or that some ugly guy has a hot girlfriend – stop being a bitch. Take control of your life, man up and take responsibility.

Things Happening For A Reason – if you want to boost your dating confidence

How to Boost Your Dating Confidence. Tips for Men - photo 5
How to Boost Your Dating Confidence

How to Boost Your Dating Confidence

As deluded as this may sound, it really does help to believe that things might actually be happening to you for a reason. Bad things happening to you can be blessings, if you choose to act on them. The most amazing things that have happened in my life, have come right after really rough periods. It’s ok to go crashing down – that’s where the crucial lessons happen – but then get back up, evaluate and move forward. Everything that’s happening to you right now may very well just be preparing you for what you actually want. You can bitch and whinge about it, or you can see the lessons and the opportunity to turn yourself and the situation into something better. This might be completely delusional, I’m aware of that, but I believe that it’s a very powerful mindset to condition yourself to – the idea that you have the power to turn anything around in your life, and that life might actually be giving you opportunities to do so. And once you do experience this a few times – where it seems like things really did happen for a reason – then it’s actually hard to not believe it.

Gratitude – if you want to boost your dating confidence

How to Boost Your Dating Confidence. Tips for Men - photo 6
How to Boost Your Dating Confidence

How to Boost Your Dating Confidence

You had the money to buy this book, and you live in a country that enabled you to buy this book. This automatically means that very likely you’re one of the luckiest and wealthiest people on the planet. When we’re chasing things that we want, we sometimes forget how amazing our lives are already and how insanely lucky we are. Even royalty a couple of hundred years ago couldn’t have imagined living like we do now. And you think that your life is over because some girl didn’t text you back? Or because meeting women is hard? Boo fucking hoo. Try living in any one of the many countries where the main goal for the day is to not die.

Self-Discipline – if you want to boost your dating confidence

How to Boost Your Dating Confidence. Tips for Men - photo 7
How to Boost Your Dating Confidence

How to Boost Your Dating Confidence

Self-discipline is such an important key to success in anything, and I believe that getting better at approaching and interacting with women will teach you self-discipline more than anythingWhy? Because it’s so much harder than anything else, and because it’s so much more personal than anything else. Building a business is hard, getting fit is hard, learning an instrument is hard – but your ego isn’t being broken down with every rejection like it is in approaching. You don’t have to overcome have wiring in your brain that fears social. Basically, if you can get yourself to go out and talk to women consistently, and to stick with it until you see some results – then you can get yourself to do anything.

How to Boost Your Dating Confidence. Tips for Men - photo 8
How to Boost Your Dating Confidence

How to Boost Your Dating Confidence

Learn to be your own boss. Be it in dating or in something else if you like. Just develop the ability to make yourself do the things that you need to do, even when you don’t want to do them. People always seem to admire my ability to wake up, meditate, exercise, work hard, etc. but I just don’t see it as a choice. As soon as you let that self-discipline slip, everything starts to slip. So self-discipline is such a key trait to develop. The key word there is develop. It’s not something that you just have, you develop it over time. It’ll get you from where you are, to what you want to be, while also carrying over to all areas of your life. As a coach, it’s a lot easier to work with guys who have already had to be disciplined in another area.

If you want to boost your dating confidence, follow our tips and you will be impressed with the results. 

To be continued…

«Approach: The Ultimate Guide To Meeting Women & Developing Confidence In Dating»

Chris Manak

 

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