Tuesday, 11 Dec 2018

The Female Climax and Pleasure

The Female Climax

SOFIA, Portugal

“SUNSHINE ON THE BODY IS THE ULTIMATE APHRODISIAC. THE FEMALE CLIMAX”

To me, orgasm (the female climax) means being in the wild, being close to the world, to things, being bigger than myself, losing my boundaries—like the boundaries of my skin—becoming boundless and expanding onto the world. Even the word orgasm (the female climax) is sort of an expansive word. It’s so painful to be an individual, a person who is tied up. And I think that’s what orgasm (the female climax) is: this moment when you’re not yourself, you’re with the world. If I were to explain it to little kids, I would try to come up with an analogy: when you’re a kid and you run really, really fast because you are chasing someone or you’re being chased or you’re running through the hills, and you get sweaty and you feel your body really working and then after that you feel this total peace and quiet, and you feel exhausted. I think that’s the closest. And this is totally based on my childhood memories of running like that. It’s not like jogging, where we are so controlled; it’s this crazy running when you’re a kid. After the age of 10, we don’t do that anymore. We want to be cool and controlled.

The Female Climax and Pleasure - photo 1

The Female Climax and Pleasure

I don’t know if it was my first orgasm (the female climax), but I was very orgasmic as a kid. I always had orgasms. I didn’t know they were orgasms, I just thought that this was part of life. It was just alongside experiences like running really fast or having an amazing cake or being comforted in my bed. You know how you sleep as a kid: you’re just so comforted. So it was just like one of many physical experiences. And this I do remember: coming across the concept of orgasm (the female climax) itself and wondering, “What the hell is that? Is that those things that I experienced?” I must have been around 10, and my parents had a copy of The Joy of Sex in the house. For the longest time, The Joy of Sex was actually in a bookshelf in my grandmother’s room, together with a lot of books they wouldn’t read anymore, because it wasn’t the ‘70s anymore, and they weren’t interested in these books anymore. So they had put The Joy of Sex up there.

The Female Climax and Pleasure - photo 2

The Female Climax and Pleasure

And so I read those books, and after a few months, the books were gone from my grandmother’s bedroom. They were no longer accessible; they were gone. And I felt like, “Where the hell are those books?” But I already knew that I wasn’t supposed to ask where the books went. And then I found them in my parents’ bedroom all the way up in the closet, where it was impossible to reach them and where I had to wait for no one to be at home and get a chair, risk my life climbing up to this closet. And then these books became really important, because suddenly they were hidden away, behind these pillows. It was so hard to get to them physically.

The Female Climax and Pleasure - photo 3

The Female Climax and Pleasure

So I would go through all these rituals, just so I could look at the books. And look at the pictures and find out about all this language that came with sexuality—at this point, I didn’t associate any sexual experiences with language. So there was no language for any of this sexuality that was part of my life. And I didn’t see any difference between the sexuality in my life as a kid and my life as a whole. It was like they were together. Once I found these books, they weren’t together anymore. They were two very clearly distinct things. There was sex; there was a word for it. And it had an element of anxiety in it. I didn’t want those things I experienced to match the language in these books. It made it seem really small. It also stole something away from my experience, because this was an adult thing, right? These were grown-ups who had access to all these things, but I was reading about them and was asking myself, “Does this match what I experience in my own life?” And it didn’t, so it was very frustrating to read about it. It took me a long time to realize that there was a connection. I think I didn’t for the longest time. I was reading about it for maybe a couple of years and imagining it all. Reading these two books was a hugely important thing in my life. It was in two volumes: The Joy of Sex is The Joy of Sex No. 1 and The Joy of Sex No. 2.

The Female Climax and Pleasure - photo 4

The Female Climax and Pleasure

There were these drawings, these images of adult bodies that obviously didn’t match my own body as a kid. So for me, it was like, “Who are these people? They have hair on their bodies, and they are so deformed.” So I didn’t really connect the book at first with my experiences at all. I think it’s something that happened over time. And I guess you start talking about sex in school. Sometimes I would take one of the books to school to show to everybody. It was this big deal, and I had a horde of people around me. Everybody wanted to look at the darn books, because there was no sex education in school at that time, but we were learning about reproduction—we were learning about these adult bodies and how your breasts are going to grow. So there was all this learning about the biology of this sexually adult body, but there was no link of that to actual sexuality. So I would sometimes steal one of these books—or borrow one—from my parents’ bedroom and bring one of them to school. From having these kinds of encounters with other kids over a period of time, I started to put the two together. And it didn’t add up for me, and I didn’t like it.

The Female Climax and Pleasure - photo 5

The Female Climax and Pleasure

I know today that I had orgasmic feelings as a child because they were full-blown orgasms just like I have now. There is no difference at all. They were not orgasmic feelings, they were orgasms (the female climax), exactly the same as I have today—there is no difference whatsoever. It’s the same stimulation—or first arousal and then stimulation, and then an orgasm. It was just the same buildup. And after the orgasm (the female climax), I was feeling very relaxed and went to sleep.

To be continued…

The Female Climax and Pleasure - photo 6

The Female Climax and Pleasure

 

“Orgasm Interviews on Intimacy”

Marion Schneider

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