Thursday, 15 Nov 2018

The Odds of Online Dating Success and the 1% Rule

Online Dating Success

Many years ago, I decided to quantify why finding the right person is so difficult, and why we must think about online dating success in terms of a numbers game. Just like in sales, if you want to get more conversions (i.e., dates, a fulfilling relationship, etc.), you have to increase the number of sales in order to generate more leads. For simplicity’s sake and from here on out, I will write from the perspective of a man, although the information can equally apply to a woman.
Sample Calculation:
You Send an Introductory Message (100 of 100 women):
You sign up for a dating site.
You find 100 interesting women you might want to meet.
You send each woman a personalized message (no canned messages … I’ll talk about what to say in your first message in a later step).
Your entire pool is currently 100 out of the original 100 women you sent messages to.
Online Dating Success. You Send a Second Message after Receiving a Reply to Your First Message (10 of 100 women): In my experience, you can expect anywhere from a 1 to 10 percent response rate to your introductory message depending on how good your profile is. For the purposes of this calculation, let’s be generous and assume that after a week or so has gone by, you receive 10 responses from the pool of 100 women to whom you sent an original message.

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Online Dating Success

These 10 are now your entire pool. You Send a Third Message Asking for the Telephone Number (5 of 100 women):
In the third message, you ask for the woman’s telephone number.  In my experience, you can expect half of the recipients of your second message to respond. After all, they replied to your first message, so the odds that they liked what they saw when they looked at your photo and profile are higher.
Online Dating Success. Let’s assume that half of the message recipients give you their phone number. Your entire pool is now down to five out of the original 100 women to whom you sent messages. The First Date and Beyond (1 of 100 women): I’m going to now assume that, of the five women from whom you got telephone numbers, you get to go on dates with four of them. There is always the woman who, for whatever reason, decides not to pick up the phone when you call or return your phone call.
During the first date, there are only four things that can now occur. Let’s assume that each event has a 25 percent probability:
She likes you, and you like her. (positive = 1)
She doesn’t like you, but you like her. (negative = 0)
She likes you, but you don’t like her. (negative = 0)
She doesn’t like you, and you don’t like her. (negative = 0)

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Online Dating Success

Therefore, out of the four first dates you got, only one can be deemed “positive.” This positive prospect results in a second date and other dates in the future. Online dating success is now yours, and your final pool is now one out of the original 100 women to whom you sent messages. So you see, in order to get just one favorable dating option, you should send an introductory message to at least 100 women online. If you want to have five favorable dating options, you should send an introductory message to at least 500 women online. I once sent introductory messages to 1,000 women (over a three-month period) and ended up with 12 good first-date prospects. If all of this message-sending sounds like it would be a boat load of work, that is because it is. Online dating (online dating success) is not easy, but you can tilt the odds of success in your favor by following the strategy that I will present in a future step and by resolving to contact as many favorable prospects as possible until you succeed. Online Dating Success. Patient persistence and a willingness to accept lots of rejection are the two most powerful predictors of online dating success.  You cannot take rejection personally, and you must realize that getting rejected is an inevitable stepping stone on the pathway of success. Those who find love online are most often people who took risks and had a willingness to face lots of “failure” in order to meet the right person. In the words of the famous Scottish novelist and poet Robert Lewis Stevenson, “don’t judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds that you plant.”

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Online Dating Success

How to Choose the Right Dating Site. 

Online Dating Success

It goes without saying that you need to choose a dating site that fits what you are looking for. If you want to date a Brazilian woman, sign up for one or two of the most popular Brazilian dating sites. If you want to date Christians, sign up for one or two of the most popular Christian dating sites. Section 3 is devoted to reviews of the top online dating sites in 60+ countries around the world.
A Useful Tip – How to Set Up a Killer Online Dating Profile. Online Dating Success.
What to Write:
After you choose the right dating site, you then need to create an attractive profile. The two most important questions you first need to ask yourself are the following:
How am I unique?
What type of woman do I want to attract?”
Online Dating Success. These two questions will dictate what you will write in your profile and the types of photos you will include. For question 1, you need to think about your competitive advantage and the particular edge you want to give your profile in order to set yourself apart from the mostly boring, cookie-cutter profiles out there. What do you have or do that is unique? This piece of your personality needs to come out in your profile and, most importantly, in your photos (as people tend to focus on photos way more than written text).

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Online Dating Success

For example, I am adventurous, so, in the “About Me” section of my profile, I write about my love for travel and my unique sense of adventure. I support my writing with pictures of me skiing in the Alps of Switzerland, atop the Acropolis in Athens, scuba diving in the turquoise waters of Mauritius, hiking in Brazil, and sandboarding down giant sand dunes in Namibia.
Question 2 is related to question 1. What type of woman or man are you trying to attract into your life? My profile is tailored for adventurous women who also have a passion for travel. But, if you are a music fan, let that come through in your profile. Any interest can be replaced by my travel example. All this information is very useful if you want to achieve online dating success.
Online Dating Success. The following is what my typical online dating profile looks like. Notice how my adventurous nature comes through as well as my honesty and transparency about my life experiences. (Note: There is a fine line between being transparent and being too transparent, so try to find that happy medium.)
ABOUT ME: I’m from Atlanta, Georgia. I’m an avid traveler who wants to visit every country in the world. I have seen 51 so far, so I still have many more countries to go. I enjoy skiing and scuba diving. Anywhere there is an ocean, you can find me in the water, and, anytime there is snow, you can find me on a mountain.

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Online Dating Success

Online Dating Success. I want people who meet me to think: “He is a cool guy.” It is not about attention for me. It is about the importance of honor and respect for the people around me. I understand that there is a time to give and a time to be loving and understanding. I do not run from adversity, and I enjoy overcoming challenges in order to achieve my goals. GOALS: Professionally, I run a large website that seeks to destroy the barriers that prevent the free flow of human beings from one country to another. Personally, I want to find a woman to love and share in the beauty that is life. I also want to continue to help the people around me to achieve their goals. UNIQUE EXPERIENCES: The obstacles that I have had to overcome in my life, such as my parents getting divorced when I was 11 years old, have strengthened me. My father, mother, and the rest of my family are supportive and influential in my life. I try to visit them as often as possible. What Kind of Photos to Include: As a first step, if you are a man, search to see what other men look like on the site. You will often notice a recurring theme. I know in Brazil, if you choose a site like Brazil Cupid, a lot of the guys have informal beach-type pictures, often showing their bare chest. You can set yourself apart from the pack by putting on a suit. Follow these tips and you will achieve online dating success.

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Online Dating Success

 The Single Most Valuable Online Dating Tool. 

Online Dating Success

You are just about ready to sign up for your first online dating site and want to achieve online dating success. However, before you do anything, you need to have a method to track your online dating activities. Remember the 1 percent rule I discussed in Step 2. You will be messaging large numbers of members in order to put yourself in the best position for online dating success.
Online Dating Success. The single most important tool for tracking your online dating activities is Microsoft Excel (or any other spreadsheet program if you don’t have Microsoft Excel). This program is the best for keeping track of your online dating activities. I’ll show you how you should set up your spreadsheet. You will be entering data into 15 separate columns. These columns are as follows:
Column A: Number
This is an arbitrary identification number. You can pick any number, but I usually start with the number “1.” The next ID number row will then be “2” and so on.
Column B: Dating Site
Name of the dating site (e.g., Match.com)
Column C: Screen Name
The online dating site screen name of your prospective woman (e.g., InnocentPrincess69)
Column D: Real Name
Enter the real name of your prospective woman.

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Online Dating Success

Column E: Telephone Number
Enter the telephone number of your prospective woman.
Column F: City
In what city does your prospect live? Enter this city in this cell.
Column G: Country
In what country does your prospect live? Enter this country in this cell.
Column H: Message #1a Sent (Introduction)
Have you sent the first introductory e-mail? Yes or No.
Column I: Message #1b Sent (Follow up if you answered “no” to #1a)
Have you sent a follow-up message if you got “no” response to your first message? Yes or No.
Column K: Message #2 Sent (Conversation Continuation)
If you received a reply to your first message, have you sent your second message? Yes or No.
Column L: Message #3 Sent (Ask for Her Telephone Number)
If you received a reply to your second message, have you sent your third message, asking for her number? Yes or No.
Column M: First Date?
Did you go out on a first date with her? Yes or No.
Column N: Second Date?
Did you go out on a second date with her? Yes or No.
Column O: Notes
Online Dating Success. Miscellaneous notes about your prospective woman, such as her interests, her dislikes, her profession, or any anecdotes she told you during your dates.

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Online Dating Success

To be continued…

“Online Dating Success.

How to Find Love Anywhere in the World”

Addison Sears-Collins

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