Secrets of Tantric Sex
“The Little Book of Sex Secrets”
Tantric Sex and Pleasure
Tantra encourages you to have slow, sensual sex (tantric sex). You bond slowly with your lover until you reach a blissful peak of physical and emotional intimacy. Even then, you can simply bask in pleasure with no pressure to orgasm. It’s said that Tantra “puts the soul back into sex”. Rather than thinking about what you’re doing, you’re just following your body. One of the things I love about Tantra is that it shows my lover a more feminine way of having sex. He becomes more tender, and I’m more able to lie back and relish the sensations of tantric sex.
TANTRIC SEX. CREATE A LOVE NEST
I learnt from Tantra to keep my bedroom clutter-free and more conducive to lovemaking. I make sure there’s no dirty laundry, electronic gadgets and other distractions, so that I can relax as soon as I step through the door. I use candles, throws, cushions and exotic-smelling incense, such as cinnamon or sandalwood.
TANTRIC SEX. LOSE YOURSELF IN DANCE
Play your favourite music (preferably something rhythmic, trance-like or hypnotic) and, if the mood takes you, get up and dance. You might feel silly (I felt self-conscious at first), but free-form dance is a great way of losing yourself and becoming fully present in your body.
TANTRIC SEX. ENJOY SENSUAL TOUCH
Take turns to give each other a slow, sensual massage. Unlike an erotic massage in which you’d aim to build up genital arousal, you’re going to include your lover’s genitals in the massage, but without singling them out for any special attention.
TANTRIC SEX. YAB-YUM POSITION
When you’re both in a cloud of sensual pleasure, get into the classic Tantric position known as “yab yum”. If you like this position, you can go on to have sex in it later. Ask your lover to sit cross-legged on the floor, then sit in his lap so that you’re facing him with your legs wrapped around his body and your feet behind his back. Once you’re in this close Tantric cuddle, hold each other tight and enjoy the sensation of warmth being exchanged between your bodies. When you’re sitting comfortably, start to synchronize your breathing. Inhale and exhale softly through your nose, making your breaths increasingly long, smooth and flowing. When your breath is in a perfect seductive rhythm with your partner’s, imagine that any boundaries or obstacles between you are melting away. Let the flow of your combined breath transport you to a place of peaceful love where there’s nothing to do, say or think. All you have to do is sit quietly in each other’s presence. If you are becoming aroused, embrace the feelings and allow them to intensify, but don’t feel that you’ve got to speed things up, initiate sex or stimulate your partner.
TANTRIC SEX. SOUL GAZING
As you sit in the yab-yum position, hold each other’s gaze. Don’t stare each other out – just receive the gaze in relaxed intimacy. Let your desire build – imagine arousal swirling up from your genitals into your belly. When you’re ready, put your hand on your lover’s genitals and guide his hand to yours. Caress each other slowly. When or if you have tantric sex, make it close and intimate with small rocking movements that gradually take you higher.