Saturday, 23 Jan 2021

Milk Punch and Ginger Tea. Tasty Drinks Recipes

How to grow Dick
Milk Punch
- A man with a seven-inch (18 cm) penis may proudly compare his organ to the average man’s five to six inches (12-15 cm) but be intimidated when learning another wields an eight-inch (20 cm) rod.

Peach Milk Punch

Ingredients for a tasty milk punch: 

2 cups Whole Milk
2 cups Peach Brandy
1 cup Weak Ale
1 cup Sugar
1 cup Crushed Violet Leaves

This would’ve been considered a respectable afternoon punch with servings for 8 people. A hostess need only mix everything but 1/2 cup of violet  leaves together the morning before the party then let the entire mix stew at room temperature. That’s right. Day old, unpasteurized, room temperature milk is the base of this cocktail

Milk Punch and Ginger Tea. Tasty Drinks Recipes - photo 1

Milk Punch

Before her guests arrived, an elegant hostess could garnish the punch by sprinkling her remaining 1/2 cup of reserved violet leaves on top. If she wanted a little fashionable curdling, she could always add the juice of four oranges to give the drink a little chunkiness going down.

Let’s give this a nice Steampunk revision.

Ingredients for a tasty milk punch: 

2 cups Peach Brandy
1 cup Hard Cider
1 cup Coconut Milk
1 cup Almond Milk
1/4 cup Sugar
Juice of 2 Oranges

Mix everything together in a fetching punch bowl. Leave it in the fridge for a minimum of four hours so the flavors can get to know one another a little better. If you’re feeling daring, go ahead and add in a cinnamon stick. 

Milk Punch and Ginger Tea. Tasty Drinks Recipes - photo 2

Milk Punch

For a slightly more authentic flavor, omit the oranges, double the sugar, and use whole milk. Don’t forget the cider, though. It may sound about as appealing as an octopus crawling up your leg, but much like quality hentai, this drink is surprisingly better than anyone is willing to admit.

Fine Milk Punch

Ingredients for a tasty milk punch: 

1/2 gallon Whole Milk 
1/2 gallon Water
1/2 gallon Brandy or Rum
10 large Lemons
2 cups Sugar
2 tbsp Grated Nutmeg  

Welcome to the wonderful world of truly exotic period drinks. Just look at that recipe. Half a gallon of milk and the juice of 10 lemons. The instructions are distressingly similar to making cheese, as is the end result. Trust me when I say you’ve never made anything like it. A quality punch like this takes two days to really set. Get ready for some kitchen adventures. 

Milk Punch and Ginger Tea. Tasty Drinks Recipes - photo 3

Milk Punch

Carefully zest the rind off all 10 lemons. This is a good time to buy organic in order to avoid eating a heaping mouth full of pesticides. If you don’t own a zester, you can use a potato peeler, but be extra careful to only use the outermost yellow skin, not the bitter white interior. 

Steep the lemon zest in the brandy or rum for 24 hours. Meanwhile, mix your lemon juice, sugar, nutmeg, and milk. Let that sexy pot sit for 24 hours as well. Remember, refrigeration is only for feeble foreigners. The next day, add your water to your milk mix and bring it to a boil. Add the rum or brandy. Let everything simmer together for ten minutes then let it cool. 

Once cool, strain the concoction through cheesecloth. Serve the liquidy part and, in the spirit of authenticity, use the remaining solids as a garnish around the bowl. 

Milk Punch and Ginger Tea. Tasty Drinks Recipes - photo 4

Milk Punch

Now, let’s say you’re not in the mood to make dubiously alcoholic cheese. A modern Steampunk variation would substitute the whole milk for coconut milk while cutting the quantity of sugar and water in half. Mix all the ingredients together with a mere half hour for the flavors to flirt before serving the concoction on ice. This iteration of the drink lacks the spirited danger of potential listeria poisoning, so instead of Fine Milk Punch you might have to rename it Weak, Adequate Colonial Milk Punch.

Ugandan Ginger Tea

1 cup Milk
1 tsp Loose Black Tea leaves
1 tbsp Sugar
1/4 tsp Fresh Grated Raw Ginger (or a small dash of tinned ginger paste)
4 shots Rum

Before introducing you to the horrors of Victorian milk punches, let’s ease you in with a heartily drinkable beverage not destined to curdle for your guest’s amusement.

Milk Punch and Ginger Tea. Tasty Drinks Recipes - photo 5

Milk Punch and Ginger Tea

Bring the milk to a simmer. Add the tea leaves and freshly grated ginger. Reduce the heat and allow the flavors to mingle for at least 10 minutes. (Ahem. Modern drinkers may prefer a weaker tea simmered for under 3 minutes. It all depends on how much hair you want on your chest.) 

Strain out the tea leaves. Add the sugar and rum to the hot milk mixture and whisk everything until it’s as frothy as your grandmother’s spittle. Pour the result into four large teacups and serve with ginger biscuits.

Milk Punch and Ginger Tea. Tasty Drinks Recipes - photo 6

Milk Punch and Ginger Tea


SteamDrunks: 101 Steampunk Cocktails and Mixed Drinks

by Chris-Rachael Oseland



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